Rice and Potatoes

I have always being fascinated by the rice/potato preference which seems to define the gay asian community at large. I have known people that profess to be strict potato queen that finds it impossible to consider ever having sex with a fellow asian (you know who you are :-P) and I know of asians that profess otherwise. I have always thought that it is a result of social conditioning, that you will be sexually attracted to the type of people that you have the most association with on a daily basis. That theory has however been proven flawed as I know of an aussie-born chinese guy who was only attracted to asian guys. So out goes the hypothesis... personally I have swung both sides of the pendulum.

Growing up, I remember i was drawn to potatoes because of their "exoticity". Those blonde hair and blue eyes were so different to what I am used to. Going to Sydney was part of this pursuit of exotic guys. As I was still relatively youthful then, I gues I was seeking out for someone older than me to show me the ropes. And I found myself drawn to potatoes at that stage in my life as I was young and seeking something stable in a relationship. I was also drawn to the fact that potatoes i met in Sydney seems to be much more knowledgable about general affairs of the world which meant that I was able to hold much more conversations with them. I had 2 relationships with 2 aussie potatoes and both ended amicably. At the end of the day, I think alot of what drew me to potatoes, that sense of independence and relentless communication also doomed both relationships. At the end of the day, I am asian and held asian values and expectations. I expected my bf to "read my mind" so to speak. I don't expect to have to tell my bf everything I want. I want him to just know because if he loves me, he should know. now now now... i am sure many of you in such mixed relationships can relate to that...

Rice. Sexually I find rice more attractive. The smooth skin, tanned brown skin, lean fit torso... However, when I was younger, i didn't find any rice that was bf-material as I wasn't looking for another kid to build a relationship with. Also the stock of rice in Sydney is defintely not as good as that in asia proper. Actually my recollection of the rice in Sydney was pretty bad... it has to be like the Giordano of asian bois... ordinary and non-memorable... SG/HK are like the Fred Perry of asian bois... english and professional ... Japs are like the Louis Vuitton of asian bois... irrestible and wanted by everyone... Thais are like the Armani of asian bois ... trendy and youthful .... Chinese are like the Zara of asian bois... good-looking at mass-market prices.... so yea I had sex with a few asian bois when I was in sydney but not many .... these days though, it is mainly rice i seek out.

At the end of the day, I think I learnt alot from my relationships with potatoes. Unless one puts in the effort to work through the differences in a cross-cultural relationship or one is prepared to compromise on what they believe is dear in a relationship, it will not go very far. Potatoes I find hold a very different perspective on a relationship. I personally feel rice value relationships alot more and will work alot harder to keep a relationship going, which can be a good or bad thing. We don't talk as much but sometimes the unspoken things are what truly matters. The silent kisses, the late night take-home supper, the unspoken gifts, the silent affirmation that you are dear, the little unspoken things that makes an asian boi feel secure and loved... those are things I find rice find easier to comprehend and appreciate than a fellow potato.

I have been single for a few months now... a part of me feel like I want to be in a relationship and another part of me is enjoying this freedom to do my own things. I have been entertaining thoughts about having a Thai bf as I find them so alluring.... it often feels like my direction in life has taken a role-reversal... I am more confident about my sexuality now and I don't feel the compelling need to have a partner that will be able to show me the ropes in life.... Now that i have started working, I often feel like taking the role of a elder-brother, to guide a young gay guy just coming to terms with his sexuality in his life choices (it helps if he is cute of coz) hehe... i wouldn't mind the boi in the pic above! if anyone knows someone like that, please direct him to me hehehe.... However, my years in Sydney have also seen several instances of people being deeply hurt by their thai bf. But most of the thai guys I have met so far have been nice. I have started taking Thai classes since I find most of them have limited command of the ang-grid language hehe. But thai is so bloody hard... Maybe I should go for someone local in sg but sgbois are so materialistic. Eventually I find myself settling down with a rice as I find that cultural symmetry is a major factor to a stable relationship.