Growing up in Singapore

I grew up in the 1980s in a Singapore that was seeing great economic and societal changes. Surprisely, despite all that was changing in Singapore, I don't recall much of my childhood these days. It all seem pretty mundane and ordinary. I had a large extended family as was typical with many families those days and many play-days were spent with my fellow cousins. We weren't from a rich family. Actually my grandpa came over from southern china to work in a planation. Life was hard for them and I guess that motivated their children (my dad, uncles & aunts) to study hard and strive for a better future. I guess they are what my mum will always remind me as the "hard-life" generation where life was a hard slog but they made good in life and gave us the younger generation a lifestyle very different from what they had. For that, I am thankful.

I had an inkling I was different from a relatively young age. Around 13 I recall. In the toilet cubicle of a popular shopping mall in Sg. I guess I was lucky that the internet was starting to be more accessible during my teenage years as I was able to gain alot from accessing gay online resources and knowing that I was not alone out there.... Plus all those late nights spent surfing gay porn reinforce my belief that I was gay. I knew I was gay since I was 15 or so and being in a all-boys secondary school made it all that much clearer. I spent much of my secondary and junior-college years trawling the internet, chatting on irc on #sgboy and having risky encounters in the toilets of many a shopping malls and swimming pools.... haha the seeds of a slut was sowed early... hehe kidding... i'm really not that much of a slut. Juz a typical horny teenage boi curious to explore his sexuality. My plan was to finish up with school and do well enough to "run away" from Singapore so that I can start living my gay life. I did that and after my national service, I ran off to Sydney for studies. That was when the most interesting years of my youth has been spent.

Given that I am non-religious, I never felt the guilt or need to "change" myself. I was gay and I accepted my sexuality. Most days I am happy to be gay and will not change it for anything else. Some days I wonder if perhaps life would be easier if I was straight. On the whole, I will not swap the life I have led so far for anything else. It has been a great journey so far. There were highs and there were lows but it is my life and my story to tell. I am gay and I intend to live my life the way I want to live it.