Bangkok Trip Report - August 09 - Part 1

After 4 weeks of research and reading about all there is to in gay bangkok, to finally arrive at Bangkok was a great relief. I was finally here. I had created a list of things to do, people to meet, venues to visit and things to shop. Top of the list was to buy that wooden toy doll in the movie "Love of Siam" if i can find where sells it. Stepping into Suvanarbhumi airport again after more than 2 years was an interesting experience as this was the first time I was here alone and with a sole objective to basically meet as many bois as possible. As I wander out into the terminal area I was tempted to go up to arrival to catch a cab to avoid paying the AOT surchage but eventually decided to just go to the taxi desk at departure.

I was staying at the Pinnacle Lumpinee Hotel on reading reviews about it being gay-friendly and they had an attractive offer on their rates. Not wanting to burst my budget, I decided to stay half my stay at the Pinnacle and the other half at the Ibis Sathorn. I got into the cab and gave him the little AOT people with the name of the hotel and off he went... I thought he knew where the hotel was.... When we turned off the tollway into Rama IV (or one of the Rama roads I'm not sure exactly), he turned around and asked me if I knew where the hotel was..... erm i have never stayed at this area before and it was already dark so I had no idea where the hotel was.... I told him so and we stopped to ask someone on the side of the road.... We found the Pinnacle without much difficulties soon after but my first impression of the hotel was..... "gawd the hotel looked so old and weary" ... not exactly wat I had in mind since it was getting late and I wanted to get into my room and freshen up... The hotel staff that served me was a gay boi whom I saw at DJs a few nights later. He was alrite... Not super friendly like I have come to expect at most of the Thai hotels I have been to but he managed to get my room rite.... I was in their new Pinnacle room and thank goodness the room was recently renovated and looked modern and quite spacious. The lift to go up the hotel was so old though... something from the 1980s i think.... and they switched off the air-con along the corridors so it wasn't exactly a fantastic first impression .... well I can't expect it to be the Banyan Tree for the money I was paying ... hehe

This mall was supposed to be in Lad Prao but I sure as hell don't recall seeing it. All i saw were dangy old shophouses lining the main road....

It was after 8 p.m. by the time I freshen up in the room arriving on a Friday. My plan was to hit the clubs over the weekend. First thing I did though was to contact a thai guy I had been chatting with on the internet and we arranged to meet outside Silom Complex.... well i'm not very familar wif the area so I thought Silom Complex was the California Wow spot so i waited there.... waited & waited .... and then he finally sms me to ask where I was and it was nearly 9.30 p.m. before we finally met... his spoken english was quite bad so communication was hard... He wanted to get me some stuff and so we hop into a cab and headed to a MRT station... I have never being on the Bangkok underground MRT so it was interesting to go on it for the first time.... very similar to the MRT in Singapore except their stations are newer and the stations are much less crowded.... I saw quite a few cute puchai on the train... they actually looked very chinese.... sorta like the bois I salivate on as I catch the MRT home from work everyday... our destination tonight was Lad Phrao to meet a friend of his.... I must say I have never ventured that far out of bangkok CBD itself so when we got out at the station, there was a sense of Indiana Jones adventure to it all as here I was following a Thai guy I had only meet an hour ago venturing out to the Bangkok 'burbs to meet another Thai guy i didn't know... It was quite scary yet exciting at the same time.... Lad Phrao didn't leave much of an impression coz it was nearly 11 p.m. when we got there and the streets around the station was basically typical Thai shophouses selling the typical daily wares and food I suppose...

We waited for his friend to arrive in a cab and we hoped in to go down to a neighbouring night market whereby his friend left us to get the stuff. I believe this to be the Ratchada night market but i could be wrong... We took a stroll down the night market and it was mainly local thai peope in this burstling market.. there were quite alot of nit-nacks to buy and less of the touristy stuf we often see at JJs or Suan Luam... It was an interesting insight into daily Thai life as the streets were packed with people and despite the humid night, it was quite an experience as we don't get much of these in sg these days.

When his friend finally returned, we went on another taxi adventure to this condo block near the night market. I think the condo has mainly Jap people staying there coz we came across quite a few of them sitting by the pool with their beer and conversing in Jap.... My first time visiting a Thai condo... I must say their concept of a condo is quite different from what we are accustomed to in sg coz apart from the fact that it had a pool per se, the condo was actually nothing too special... the lift was pretty shabby and on the whole I think some of our newer HDB flats are even nicer than this condo....We went up to the 18th floor and entered a studio style apartment where there were a couple of guys in there, shirtless and chatting on gay.com. One of them looked quite cute actually but since we were only there to collect some stuff, no chance to talk to them at all..... plus they don't seem to speak english at all and looked at me strangely.... I don't think I look that weird do it... lol I hope not... It was quite an interesting studio apartment... There was a tiny parapet balcony area and 2 beds in the main living/sleeping area. We got our stuff and left to catch a cab back to the Pinnacle hotel. By this time it was nearly 1 a.m. and I got a few missed calls and messages from a couple of guys I have arranged to meet at DJs.... All my perfect planning before the trip didn't quite materialise as I ended up going on this unplanned adventure into the 'burbs of bangkok and I didn't end up going to any of the gay bars that night or the next few nights...

Just a tip for booking hotel rooms in Bangkok, i found that Agoda offered me the best rates on most of the hotel I was checking on. Ibis offered the best rates if you book directly through their website. Asiarooms, which I used a fair bit to book rooms in other countries, seem to offer very crappy rates for bangkok hotels.

It was an interesting start to my trip to say the least but i shall pick up from a few days later when I finally got down to visiting all the gay venues which I had intended to visit on this trip.

My Thai Fascination

"Going to the Grand Palace"

1 trip

"Riding a elephant"

1 trip

"Jet-skiing at Pattaya"

1 trip

"Countless cute Thai Bois"

many many trips

The above sums up my fascination with Thailand and perhaps the Thailand Tourism Authority should try to capitalise on the competitive advantage they enjoy over their fellow competitor cities in the region. I personally feel that tourists that are making numerous return trips to bangkok are largely drawn to bangkok because of the cute and hospitable thai bois/girls in more ways than we can imagine. Quite frankly, if not for the boiz that are so aplenty and always keen, will I be visiting Bangkok as often as I do? I don't think so and i think many asian tourists in the region share the same point of view. At the end of the day, we only need to see the wats and grand palace once and then there isn't much more compelling reason to keep us coming back for more, if not for the bois.... and the shopping of coz. With the explosive growth of budget flights in the region, the number of sg gay bois flying to bangkok for a weekend of fun, sex and shopping has grown and the Thai Tourism Authority could do well to foster the growth of this segment of their tourism arrivals instead of trying to pretend it doesn't exist. At the end of the day, without the bois, there is nothing stopping us from going to HK for shopping instead or to explore some of the other regional cities. But the bois ahd the vibracy of the gay scene in bangkok keep us coming back for more. The Thai authorities should implement policies that will further boost the appeal such as increasing the closing times of the night spot venues or setting up a consumer tribunal to regulate the pricing practices at the gogo-venues so that it will feel less like a price-grab at the expense of the tourists visiting such venues.

I haven't always held a fascination with Thailand. I have visited Bangkok several times since young with family, school and bf. However, it was always to shop, visit wats and eat. I never saw the fun sleazy side of gay bangkok until my last trip to bangkok as all my previous travelling companions limit my ability to go out and explore such sites, either that or I was still too young to go in anywhere.... As explained in my previous blog entry, I was also wary of Thai guys after knowing of several instances in Sydney where friends or friends of friends were hurt very deeply by thai bois, some of which they actually brought over to Sydney. It made me wonder how anyone can be so hurtful and selfish in the manner in which they treat people just to achieve their own objective of getting out of the country. It made me deeply apprehensive about Thai people as I started to question the sincerity behind all that smiles and wai-ing. I know it is wrong to categorically sterotype a whole nation of people because of a few bad incidents, but when things so bad happen to someone dear to you, it is only natural for it to impact upon your personal perception on things. A case of a few bad apples i guess.

My current fascination about Thailand actually began after I broke up with my last bf in June and moved on with my life. I watched a great thai movie called "Love of Siam" when it began its' run at GV Vivocity in July and it left a deep impression upon me. It changed my perception of Thai people and I began to realise that my original perception of the people was unfairly judgemental. The movie allowed me to see Thai bois as any ordinary gay person around the world, trying to cope with their own sexuality and the shit life throws at them, capable of innocent puppy love. The movie was the first Thai movie I ever saw and I know it began its' run really late in Sg as it was released in 2007 but nonetheless it was a powerful movie for me, not in a high-strung drama sorta way but in the subtle messages it was conveying to me as a gay person. I saw the movie 7 times in the cinema... I know! that was how mesmerized I was by the movie. Mew was sooo adoringly cute!... I remember vividly my first time watching it as there was this poor chap that kept sobbing halfway through the movie..... I mean I felt it was an evotive movie and sad in certain aspects..... but I'm not sure if it was that tear-provoking to keep crying for more than an hour .... the cinema was near full and that poor chap got heckled by some in the crowd for his incessant sobbing after which he moved himself to the 1st row and continued sobbing there... actually it got annoying after awhile... initially i thought "aww how sweet, he is moved to tears".... then it became "oh gawd, get a grip on your emotions... it is NOT THAT SAD!" ..... to "Shut the fuck up with your sobbing, I'm trying to watch the freakin' movie"...... that poor chap ran out of the hall when the credits started to roll. I think he is afraid of other people seeing who he is ......

So yea, "Love of Siam" sparked off my current fascination with all things Thai, especially the bois. I started researching about the gay scene in Bangkok and following a few gay bangkok blogs. I booked myself on a trip to Bangkok for end Aug/Sept and off I went to gay bangkok for 2 weeks. Isn't it amazing what a good movie can do to a person.

Rice and Potatoes

I have always being fascinated by the rice/potato preference which seems to define the gay asian community at large. I have known people that profess to be strict potato queen that finds it impossible to consider ever having sex with a fellow asian (you know who you are :-P) and I know of asians that profess otherwise. I have always thought that it is a result of social conditioning, that you will be sexually attracted to the type of people that you have the most association with on a daily basis. That theory has however been proven flawed as I know of an aussie-born chinese guy who was only attracted to asian guys. So out goes the hypothesis... personally I have swung both sides of the pendulum.

Growing up, I remember i was drawn to potatoes because of their "exoticity". Those blonde hair and blue eyes were so different to what I am used to. Going to Sydney was part of this pursuit of exotic guys. As I was still relatively youthful then, I gues I was seeking out for someone older than me to show me the ropes. And I found myself drawn to potatoes at that stage in my life as I was young and seeking something stable in a relationship. I was also drawn to the fact that potatoes i met in Sydney seems to be much more knowledgable about general affairs of the world which meant that I was able to hold much more conversations with them. I had 2 relationships with 2 aussie potatoes and both ended amicably. At the end of the day, I think alot of what drew me to potatoes, that sense of independence and relentless communication also doomed both relationships. At the end of the day, I am asian and held asian values and expectations. I expected my bf to "read my mind" so to speak. I don't expect to have to tell my bf everything I want. I want him to just know because if he loves me, he should know. now now now... i am sure many of you in such mixed relationships can relate to that...

Rice. Sexually I find rice more attractive. The smooth skin, tanned brown skin, lean fit torso... However, when I was younger, i didn't find any rice that was bf-material as I wasn't looking for another kid to build a relationship with. Also the stock of rice in Sydney is defintely not as good as that in asia proper. Actually my recollection of the rice in Sydney was pretty bad... it has to be like the Giordano of asian bois... ordinary and non-memorable... SG/HK are like the Fred Perry of asian bois... english and professional ... Japs are like the Louis Vuitton of asian bois... irrestible and wanted by everyone... Thais are like the Armani of asian bois ... trendy and youthful .... Chinese are like the Zara of asian bois... good-looking at mass-market prices.... so yea I had sex with a few asian bois when I was in sydney but not many .... these days though, it is mainly rice i seek out.

At the end of the day, I think I learnt alot from my relationships with potatoes. Unless one puts in the effort to work through the differences in a cross-cultural relationship or one is prepared to compromise on what they believe is dear in a relationship, it will not go very far. Potatoes I find hold a very different perspective on a relationship. I personally feel rice value relationships alot more and will work alot harder to keep a relationship going, which can be a good or bad thing. We don't talk as much but sometimes the unspoken things are what truly matters. The silent kisses, the late night take-home supper, the unspoken gifts, the silent affirmation that you are dear, the little unspoken things that makes an asian boi feel secure and loved... those are things I find rice find easier to comprehend and appreciate than a fellow potato.

I have been single for a few months now... a part of me feel like I want to be in a relationship and another part of me is enjoying this freedom to do my own things. I have been entertaining thoughts about having a Thai bf as I find them so alluring.... it often feels like my direction in life has taken a role-reversal... I am more confident about my sexuality now and I don't feel the compelling need to have a partner that will be able to show me the ropes in life.... Now that i have started working, I often feel like taking the role of a elder-brother, to guide a young gay guy just coming to terms with his sexuality in his life choices (it helps if he is cute of coz) hehe... i wouldn't mind the boi in the pic above! if anyone knows someone like that, please direct him to me hehehe.... However, my years in Sydney have also seen several instances of people being deeply hurt by their thai bf. But most of the thai guys I have met so far have been nice. I have started taking Thai classes since I find most of them have limited command of the ang-grid language hehe. But thai is so bloody hard... Maybe I should go for someone local in sg but sgbois are so materialistic. Eventually I find myself settling down with a rice as I find that cultural symmetry is a major factor to a stable relationship.

My Sydney years

G'day matey. I know... it is corny... I spent 5 years of my youth studying in Sydney. Why Sydney you might ask... haha I didn't choose it because it had the best university or anything vaguely academic, I choose it because I read that it was the 2nd gayest city in the world, the 1st being SFO. I visited SFO when I was 17 and I loved the city but it was such a loooong flight from Sg that I decided to study in Sydney instead. I also had fond memories of Ozzieland from my childhood trips to the theme parks on the Gold Coast. So yeah, I choose to study in Sydney because it was gay and I wanted a gay awakening! Leaving Changi with my parents was a mixbag of emotions. I recall shedding a few tears as I enter the departure hall at Changi as the whole extended family was there to see me off. I was also excited yet afraid of what lies ahead.

5 years went by in a whirlwind and I came to love alot about Sydney and Australia in general. It allowed me to come out to myself and actually have a circle of good gay and straight friends. I guess when you are all alone in a foreign land, you tend to make a greater effort with friendships and a social life. One of my dearest friend I actually met during the first day of class at uni and I didn't know he was gay until one fateful night on oxford street. haha it was quite a coincidence indeed but we had great fun during the time we had in sydney. Another good friend came about through a weird attempt by another friend to set us up but we ended up good friends, although we have sorta lost touch since I came back to sg. We both had our virgin experience visiting a gay sauna together. It was a night of petrifying trepidation as I could recall!

Sydney was a blast. We spent many a nights getting pissed on Oxford Street. Everyone was so open about their sexuality and there was no inhibitions about being gay. I was never outlandish gay or out there though. I guess I brought a certain level of Sg conservatism with me to Sydney as I was never comfortable showing to others that I was gay either through my dressing or my mannerism. However, I will never forget my first Mardi Gras experience. That sense of solidarity and pride, it nearly brought a tear to my eye as I saw gay people holding hand in hand marching down a major city road with cheering crowds on the side.

Sydney was great fun and Australians in general are a bunch of great people. However, I never really felt like I could ever be an Australian per se. I was different and although Aussies in general are not a racist bunch, I always felt that there is always a latent level of racism that prevails against Asian people in general. It is not something that I fault them on though coz most cultures in the world are xenophobic in nature. Japanese people frown upon foreigners as do the Chinese. It is just how people by their very nature respond to something that is foreign and unfamilar to them. I don't support racism but I accept that as a tribal facet of life. Even many of my fellow singaporeans holds pretty racist views. Plus I will add that I never got any racist attacks in Sydney. It was just a sense of feeling different and the understanding that because of this, you will never really be accepted as part of the tribe per se. And for me, that was something which bugs me.

At the end of my studies, I had to make the difficult decision whether to stay on in Sydney or head back to Singapore. It was not a easy choice. Even till today, I am constantly asking myself where do I see myself in the future. I love both cities but eventually made the decision to come back home to Singapore. I was seeing an Aussie guy at that time and part of the decision to return was tied to the relationship. Coming back to Singapore has been a rude awakening as so much of what I was used to in Sydney was no longer possible here. The freedom of uni life, no more boozing over the weekends, no more drives to the national parks or beaches, no more gayness so to speak ... it's not all bad, I am back home with family. Living in a city with many cute asian bois and the fun nightlife of bangkok only a 2 hour Tiger airway flight away... so I am not really complaining. It is a different life to what I led in Sydney. Not better, not worse. Just different.

Growing up in Singapore

I grew up in the 1980s in a Singapore that was seeing great economic and societal changes. Surprisely, despite all that was changing in Singapore, I don't recall much of my childhood these days. It all seem pretty mundane and ordinary. I had a large extended family as was typical with many families those days and many play-days were spent with my fellow cousins. We weren't from a rich family. Actually my grandpa came over from southern china to work in a planation. Life was hard for them and I guess that motivated their children (my dad, uncles & aunts) to study hard and strive for a better future. I guess they are what my mum will always remind me as the "hard-life" generation where life was a hard slog but they made good in life and gave us the younger generation a lifestyle very different from what they had. For that, I am thankful.

I had an inkling I was different from a relatively young age. Around 13 I recall. In the toilet cubicle of a popular shopping mall in Sg. I guess I was lucky that the internet was starting to be more accessible during my teenage years as I was able to gain alot from accessing gay online resources and knowing that I was not alone out there.... Plus all those late nights spent surfing gay porn reinforce my belief that I was gay. I knew I was gay since I was 15 or so and being in a all-boys secondary school made it all that much clearer. I spent much of my secondary and junior-college years trawling the internet, chatting on irc on #sgboy and having risky encounters in the toilets of many a shopping malls and swimming pools.... haha the seeds of a slut was sowed early... hehe kidding... i'm really not that much of a slut. Juz a typical horny teenage boi curious to explore his sexuality. My plan was to finish up with school and do well enough to "run away" from Singapore so that I can start living my gay life. I did that and after my national service, I ran off to Sydney for studies. That was when the most interesting years of my youth has been spent.

Given that I am non-religious, I never felt the guilt or need to "change" myself. I was gay and I accepted my sexuality. Most days I am happy to be gay and will not change it for anything else. Some days I wonder if perhaps life would be easier if I was straight. On the whole, I will not swap the life I have led so far for anything else. It has been a great journey so far. There were highs and there were lows but it is my life and my story to tell. I am gay and I intend to live my life the way I want to live it.

First Post

My first attempt at blogging... I have recently started following several blogs and living vicariously through the lifes of those bloggers and felt it provided me with an insight into many issues as well as providing me with invaluable advice on my oversea trips. I decided to try my hand at blogging as an attempt to share my life with people that might be interested to read about my life experiences. I also enjoy writing a fair bit. Not fancy novels or fiction stuff but mainly opinion pieces or on issues that interest me. This blog will be a mish-mash of things that matters to me, things that hopefully will be of interest to you, the readers :-) I also hope to share my travel tales and hopefully get to engage you the readers with your own experiences. And to keep you the readers keen and wanting, I will post pics of asian guys which I find hot and you can tell me what you think of them!

I shall try to give abit of an intro about my life story till this point in my next blog entry to let you know me a little better :-) I will not disclose my name or identiy in this blog as I prefer to remain anonymous. As much as I wish to wave the rainbow flag and stand in solidarity with my fellow sisters/brothers and all things in between, I feel more comfortable blogging anonymously so that I will feel less restraint in my blog entries.